So I forgot the password to the other account so I made a third one. its Realpolitik_8491.

Anyways so summer has been boring lately. I have hung out with a few friends which is great but I want more. I realized however, it's not that I want more out of summer it's out of life. I feel unsatisfied lately. I have been lookin at pictures of Germany and I realized I'm home sick. I miss it. I miss my childhood and everything about it. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong there and need to go back. Easier said then done. I just wish I knew what to do ya know? I might go next summer depending on money but it's a really slim chance.

So I've been going to the gym lately which is good. I like it a lot. It's fun and keeps me busy. I also have been reading and listening to music. Anyways I don't have much to write so yea.

Okay so I made another account that is my mom opinionated/smart side. It's political and deals with current events its: Realpolitik_84 (creative right...)

Anyways so my room is a mess and it's usually is a tad bit messy, but this time it's bad! So it has been stressing me out, but I just don't have the motivation to clean it. But yet I have the motivation to do well in school or to go to the gym for 3 hours no matter how tired. Yet when it comes to something as simple as cleaning my room I don't have motivation for that. Idk if it's because the major stuff effects my future or if cleaning my room isn't gonna get me to be with pack...I know here I go again...but really where is this motivation coming from? Am I using him to motivate me? I mean he isn't perfect but he is smart, athletic, and really cool. I mean I wanna be as smart and athletic (well I can't be as athletic as him for amother couple years but I can try) as him. When it comes down to it I really don't have the motivation to clean my room because it's nothing major. It's not gonna make me happy because according to the law of entropy (physics) chaos goes from order to disorder so won't my room get messy again. Whats the point? The point of a clean room is to find stuff. I mean there is hygene too but being a germ freak I do dust often. Cleaning my room seems like a waste of time and my mom keeps naggin on and on...it's gonna get drity. Anyways I can't leave the house unless it's clean so I lost that arguement but to me it seems like I will lose time too.

Okay now that I babbled about my cleaning room delima I am not over him. yea I know it sucks but I'm not. I don't know why but I want him and I keep thinking about him...not like every minute but he pops up occasionally. Anyways for once Ima let nature take its course and see what happens when school starts.

Oh and my glasses broke today so I might have a ton of typos cuz I don't have my glasses on and it's late and I'm pooped. G'night ppls